Ellen DeGeneres reveals dark family trauma

Recently, Ellen DeGeneres revealed a deeply personal family secret, hoping her candid admission will help others experiencing similar struggles.

The beloved comedian expressed a wish that she had been better protected as a vulnerable child, and voiced frustration at those who are unwilling to believe survivors.

Louisiana-born Ellen DeGeneres first captured the spotlight in the late 1970s, overcoming challenges to rise to stardom.

The talk show host’s big break came in 1986 when she performed a stand-up routine on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson, leading to more late-night appearances, back-to-back club bookings, and roles on TV series.

From 1989 to 1990, the now 66-year-old comedian landed her first regular TV gig as a cast member on the short-lived sitcom Open House, and in 1994 she became the star of the acclaimed comedy series These Friends of Mine, later renamed Ellen.

“I was laughing out loud when I read the script. I knew what I could do with it,” the popular awards show host told the New York Times in 1994. “I wanted a show that everybody talks about the next day.”

Everybody did talk the next day, and every day after. The conversation intensified when she came out as a lesbian, both on her show and in her personal life.

The show was canceled in 1998, and though she was devastated, that same year she revealed she was in a relationship with actor Anne Heche.

“I saw the most radiant woman I had ever seen in my life standing across the room. Her name was Ellen DeGeneres. She was glowing,” Heche said of their first meeting. “I think at certain times in people’s lives, you just radiate an energy and a glow of fabulousness. And that was her!”

The couple’s relationship ended in 2000, and shortly after, Heche shared some dark secrets from her past.

In a 2001 interview with Barbara Walters, Heche disclosed that she had been s3xually ab-used by her father, starting when she was a toddler. “He raped me,” the award-winning actor said. Tragically, Heche passed away in 2022 at the age of 53 following a horrific car accident.

“As a survivor of s3xual ab-use, I am frustrated with people who don’t believe it and who say, ‘How do you not remember exactly what day it was?’” DeGeneres told Today’s Savannah Guthrie in 2018. “You don’t remember those details. What you remember is what happened to you, where you were, and how you feel. That’s what you remember.”

DeGeneres had previously opened up about her own experience when speaking with Busy Phillips on an episode of The Ellen DeGeneres Show. Responding to Phillips’ admission of being s3xually assaulted as a teenager, DeGeneres said, “It’s because we’re girls and we’re taught not to say anything and go along with it.”

A year later, DeGeneres shared more about the “very bad man” who had ab-used her, explaining to David Letterman that the assaults began when she was around 15 or 16 years old. Her mother’s breast cancer diagnosis and subsequent mastectomy had been used by her former stepfather to gain access and s3xually assault her.

Tragically, when DeGeneres finally mustered the courage to share her truth with her mother, she was not believed. “I should never have protected her. I should have protected myself and I didn’t tell her for a few years and then I told her,” DeGeneres said. “…she didn’t believe me…And finally left him because he’d changed the story so many times.”

Despite the lifelong trauma, DeGeneres has continued to care for her mother over the years. “I didn’t really let it get to me. Until recently, I kind of went, ‘I wish I would have been better taken care of. I wish she would have believed me.’ And she’s apologetic, but, you know.”

DeGeneres’ openness and resilience in the face of such adversity serve as an inspiration to others who have endured similar experiences. Her story is a powerful reminder of the importance of support, understanding, and belief for survivors of ab-use.